Pool Party Updates

Steely Dan’s Donald Fagen and Michael McDonald dropped by the pool party. But unfortunately for them, Jose didn’t know who they were, and they were promptly escorted off the premises.

12pm Comments (View)

Pool House Chronicles: Brother, Can You Spare a Dollar...A Creflo Dollar

Jessica Canseco:

Uh Jose, there is someone at the door. It looks like William Randolph.


Jose:

Willy? (door opens)


Creflo $ollar:

Brother, every time you say 'I resist you temptation' you say 'I love you, Lord!!!'


Jose:

Whu?


Creflo $ollar:

I shall repeat myself, but only for a sizable donation!


Jose:

Dough-Nation?


Creflo $ollar:

Brother, do not use a homophone against the Lord Our Savior!


Jose:

(shuts door) Did he come with Gregg Jeffries? (Not soonafter nor unrelated, a thunderstorm strode through the area, sending all pool party participants to the pool house and rec room).


2am Comments (View)

Pool House Chronicles: Why Too Kay

Danny Tartabull:

...and that's why the computers won't work. They can't handle "2000".


Jose:

Whu? You mean my laserdisc player will just go kaput!?!?


Tartabull:

Your computer too.


Jose:

The Tandy!!! Not the Tandy!! It's a Radio Shack!!! It's a Radio Shack!! It won't break!


Tartabull:

Relax man. Relax. People are working on the it. It's called Y2K.


Jose:

You relax!! Tandy's ain't cheap. And you're called "Danilo", Danny!


12am Comments (View)

Jason Kidd and Hope Dworkaczyk were NOT at the party.  He had a road game in Cleveland that night, and she was well, 15 at the time.

Jason Kidd and Hope Dworkaczyk were NOT at the party.  He had a road game in Cleveland that night, and she was well, 15 at the time.

11pm Comments (View)

Lauren Bentley was invited, but couldn’t make it.

Lauren Bentley was invited, but couldn’t make it.

Via Beautiful and depraved.

10pm Comments (View)

Pool House Chronicles…

Rob Ducey (journeyman extraordiaire): (holding up Jose’s Leaf Rookie card by the swing set) Can’t beat a Leaf, eh?
Chris Sabo: I’ll take a Donruss anyday!

Clemens: (walks by) Fags…

And thus began Sabo’s descent into Red Dog hell…

6pm Comments (View)

Pool House Chronicles…


Ramon (Jose’s personal assistant cum doorman for pool party): Name?
Gregg Jefferies: Gregg Jeffries.  Two G’s for a double dose of great.
Ramon: Huh?  Sorry Gregggggg, but I don’t see your name?  Can you wait over on the other side of the rope?
Gregg: (pushes his way past): Rated Rookies don’t do lines asshole…at least not that kind of line.

 And so the pool party officially got started…

6pm Comments (View)

Ok, enough is enough! We love us some pool party gossip as much as the next Ozzie (Canseco or Osbourne), but don’t send us “tips” that Scatman Crothers was working the grill at the pool party. We’d buy Bob Uecker, maybe even that little Wesley fella, but we know Scatman called it quits in ‘96. Knock it off stevieboy923@gmail.com. ps: R.I.P. Scatman

Ok, enough is enough!

We love us some pool party gossip as much as the next Ozzie (Canseco or Osbourne), but don’t send us “tips” that Scatman Crothers was working the grill at the pool party. We’d buy Bob Uecker, maybe even that little Wesley fella, but we know Scatman called it quits in ‘96. Knock it off stevieboy923@gmail.com.

ps: R.I.P. Scatman

4pm Comments (View)

Cornbread Caveman, most decidely was not at the pool party, but his refreshing views on women and what part of the mansion is best to quarantine them would have been a most welcome addition to the pool party. Jose had made it clear before the party, he liked his eggs and women battered.

Cornbread Caveman, most decidely was not at the pool party, but his refreshing views on women and what part of the mansion is best to quarantine them would have been a most welcome addition to the pool party.

Jose had made it clear before the party, he liked his eggs and women battered.

4pm Comments (View)

Unconfirmed - as were most of the guests sightings at the pool party (you can thank the five barrels of Red Dog for the hazy memories) - but while Julia wasn’t at the pool party, there are strong reasons to believe that an underage Jacob Lodwick was at the party. The late-night topless volleyball game and drunken etchings on the prone, passed-out body of Chris Sabo could very well have been the inspiration for the empire of titty jpegs and wit-tees that is Collegehumor.

Unconfirmed - as were most of the guests sightings at the pool party (you can thank the five barrels of Red Dog for the hazy memories) - but while Julia wasn’t at the pool party, there are strong reasons to believe that an underage Jacob Lodwick was at the party.

The late-night topless volleyball game and drunken etchings on the prone, passed-out body of Chris Sabo could very well have been the inspiration for the empire of titty jpegs and wit-tees that is Collegehumor.

3pm Comments (View)

Julia Allison was not at the pool party. But contrary to media speculation, it had nothing to do with the fact that she was only 17 when the party took place. In fact, Julia was on vacation in Cancun with some friends when the bash went down. Otherwise she SO would have been there.

Julia Allison was not at the pool party.

But contrary to media speculation, it had nothing to do with the fact that she was only 17 when the party took place.

In fact, Julia was on vacation in Cancun with some friends when the bash went down. Otherwise she SO would have been there.

3pm Comments (View)

Jessica Canseco talks about the days before the pool party, working at Hooters (where she met Jose).

3pm Comments (View)

Despite being in South Florida, the pool party didn’t have any Finnish techo blaring.  But there might have been some Running Man witnessed (looking at you Pete Incaviglia).

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2pm Comments (View)

This site is in no way affiliated with Jose Canseco. We're just a fan of his pool parties, his taste in fashion, and his steroid-fueled mega-dingers.

 

Pool Party Roll Call

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