Pool Party Updates

While we don’t have video from the actual event (yet), pool party experts around the country agree — Paul Thomas Anderson’s vision of the pool party in Boogie Nights is probably the closest you can come to witnessing Jose’s epic poolside bash (until we get our hands on Ed Sprague’s handicam footage).

9pm Comments (View)

Who was that in the window?

Why it was former Red Sox scout Jesse Levis…watching the pool party…up to his usual tricks (and we don’t mean “rearranging clothes”):

According to an arrest report, the two girls, age 13 and 14, told police they had been swimming at the pool around 7 p.m. Sunday with their father when they saw Levis standing naked and masturbating at the window of his second-floor hotel room, which overlooks the pool.

8pm Comments (View)

Chris Bosh was NOT in attendance.  But Will Ferrell was spied by party attendees, cracking up Woody Williams and Juan Guzman by the BBQ (more on that to follow)

6pm Comments (View)

Despite rumors to the contrary, Cal pole vaulter Allison Stokke was not at the pool party (after all, she was 8 years old at the time). And whatever you do, don’t even think of mentioning it to her father.

Despite rumors to the contrary, Cal pole vaulter Allison Stokke was not at the pool party (after all, she was 8 years old at the time).

And whatever you do, don’t even think of mentioning it to her father.

6pm Comments (View)

60 Minutes was there.  But the footage they captured that day was so racy — not only did it never air — CBS executives ordered it destroyed on the spot.

60 Minutes was there. 

But the footage they captured that day was so racy — not only did it never air — CBS executives ordered it destroyed on the spot.

11am Comments (View)

The Venga Boys were NOT at the party.

They were invited personally by Jose, and were en route from a show at Papas and Beer in Rosarito Beach. Unfortunately, an abnormally slow customs agent in El Paso forced them to miss their connecting flight to Miami.

10pm Comments (View)

KATE HUDSON was NOT at the party…but her red bikini was

KATE HUDSON was NOT at the party…but her red bikini was

10pm Comments (View)

Daisy De La Hoya was poolside. In fact, partygoers speculated that her presence that day may very well be at least partially to blame for the rift that developed between Jose and Jessica Canseco.  But looking at this photo, we have no idea how anyone could accuse Daisy of being anything but a class act all the way. (Photo via Machochip)

Daisy De La Hoya was poolside.

In fact, partygoers speculated that her presence that day may very well be at least partially to blame for the rift that developed between Jose and Jessica Canseco.  But looking at this photo, we have no idea how anyone could accuse Daisy of being anything but a class act all the way.

(Photo via Machochip)

8pm Comments (View)

Who was the creepy neighbor with a carnation on his tank top peering through the wooden fence at Jose’s Pool Party?  I think we have a suspect.

(via The Big Lead) 

5pm Comments (View)

Pitas or Peta - to Jose it didn’t matter.  So long as the guests were fed and the women in cages, he knew he had done his job. Cornbread Caveman couldn’t have been happier. (via Ad Rants)

Pitas or Peta - to Jose it didn’t matter.  So long as the guests were fed and the women in cages, he knew he had done his job. Cornbread Caveman couldn’t have been happier.

(via Ad Rants)

3pm Comments (View)

Claudia Porros was at the party, thanks to an invite from Jose, who just happens to be her second cousin.  And in case you were wondering, in a game of 2-on-2 pool basketball, she and teammate Danny Tartabull positively schooled Dave Stieb and Tony Fernandez.

Claudia Porros was at the party, thanks to an invite from Jose, who just happens to be her second cousin. 

And in case you were wondering, in a game of 2-on-2 pool basketball, she and teammate Danny Tartabull positively schooled Dave Stieb and Tony Fernandez.

2pm Comments (View)

Two Luvabulls. One bread dildo. Lunch at halfcourt. A sub slam.  And of course, Scotty Pippen.  

Either way, Jose’s Pool Party could have definitely used a party sub to satiate the drunken ballplayers late night.

1pm Comments (View)

Chris Sabo was well into the second keg of Red Dog when he decided to make a move on the future Mrs. Jamie Kotsay. Sabo knew he’d need something fierce to make a good impression.  This is what followed… Sabo: So, uh, I think if I hook up a line from the gas grill to the pool house. I could create a sauna. Jaime: Really? Sabo: Well, I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night. Jamie: ? (crickets…)  The joke fell flatter than the Red Dog.  Sabo pounded another.  It would be a long, long pool party.  (Editor’s note: With a continental breakfast and free wifi, HI Express is a great place to sleep off a pool party bender.  Sadly for Sabo, both HI Express’ treats were not offered in 1998.)

Chris Sabo was well into the second keg of Red Dog when he decided to make a move on the future Mrs. Jamie Kotsay. Sabo knew he’d need something fierce to make a good impression.  This is what followed…

Sabo: So, uh, I think if I hook up a line from the gas grill to the pool house. I could create a sauna.

Jaime: Really?

Sabo: Well, I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

Jamie: ?

(crickets…) 

The joke fell flatter than the Red Dog.  Sabo pounded another.  It would be a long, long pool party. 

(Editor’s note: With a continental breakfast and free wifi, HI Express is a great place to sleep off a pool party bender.  Sadly for Sabo, both HI Express’ treats were not offered in 1998.)

11pm Comments (View)

This site is in no way affiliated with Jose Canseco. We're just a fan of his pool parties, his taste in fashion, and his steroid-fueled mega-dingers.

 

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