Yasmine Bleeth was not at the party. But not for the obvious “injecting cocaine” reason you might suspect. No, Ms. Bleeth was actually busy attending a premiere for the Trey Parker/Matt Stone vehicle BASEketball, and the private jet she was supposed to catch to get to the party got delayed (which may or may not have had something to do with Charles Oakley and a Las Vegas hot tub — more on that to follow)
NEW YORK—Just days after the publication of Vindicated, his second book concerning the use of steroids in professional baseball, former steroid-using baseball player and current steroid-awareness advocate Jose Canseco has debuted La Anabolica, an opera concerning the use of steroids in professional baseball. “I’ve done books, interviews, public speaking appearances, improv, and theater-in-the-round on the theme of steroids, and I was looking for something fresh and new, ” Canseco said from the stage of the Met. “I think my libretto—especially the climactic scene in which fair Don Giambi is tempted to use the magic golden steroids to defeat evil knights Die Rosensox and their enchanted beast Il Monsto Verde—is exactly what is needed to bring the message of steroids in baseball to a new audience.” Critics have not been kind to La Anabolica, noting that “the lyrics mostly consist of the word ‘steroids’ chanted over and over” and that “the ending, which occurs as a steroid-enhanced fat lady sings, is doubly and almost impossibly clichéd.”
Some thought that having naked sand girls was a tacky touch. But not Jose and Jessica. They went so far as to consider making them a permanent installment poolside.
Contrary to rumors circling the interwebs, Pete Carroll was not at Jose Canseco’s pool party. He was too busy sockin’ taters in a local home run derby contest to be bothered with Jose’s poolside shenanigans.
After awhile, it was starting to get a bit ridiculous.
SO much so, in fact, that the whole scene prompted Jessica to bust out the ol’ blooper real, with Jose’s failed outing as a relief pitcher, and the home run that bounced off Jose’s head and over the fence.
As the party moved into the evening hours, Jessica decided it was time to move things inside, and show everyone some of the tricks she picked up while working as a high-priced mistress in South Beach. Hijinx and hilarity ensued.
