Unfortunately, Monica Bellucci was not at the party.
Jose, a huge fan of her work in Appartement, L’ and Stressati, sent the Italian screen siren with an engraved invitation. But when Ms. Bellucci received the invite, she said “who the hell is Jose Canseco?” and proceeded to throw it in the garbage.
Jose’s nephew, Guillermo, wouldn’t shut up about how he wanted either two trannie clowns or a life-size Transformer at the pool party. Jose was having none of it.
Sabo seeing the heated discussion, offered to fill a pinata with Red Dog. No one responded.
In the end, they settled on some sparklers and a slip ‘n slide.
It wouldn’t have mattered anyway, the life-size Transformers were due at the Tampa/St. Pete Comic Con.
When Sabo said he wanted to do some lawn bowling for cash, he conveniently left out the fact that he had tried out for the U.S. Lawn Bowling Over-18 Team, and that the only reason he didn’t make the team was suspicion by team leadership that his glasses contained some sort of performance-enhancers. An hour later, Stieb was into the bespectacled one for 20 large.
Maria Shriver was unable to attend. She and Arnold received the invitation, but he was busy shooting End of Days, and Maria was working on a Dateline: NBC story about abusive nannies caught on tape.
You see, Jose and D-Schintz had a bet going on the previous spring’s Final Four. For some reason Dwayne bet heavily on the Utes, meaning he inherited valet duties (red jacket, bowtie, and all) at the Cansecos’ next pool party.
Uh-oh — could be bad news for The Rocket, but good news for pool party fans everywhere (via Yahoo! Sports):
Two photographs that may link Roger Clemens to having attended the infamous 1998 party at Jose Canseco’s Florida home are in the hands of IRS special Jeff Novitzky.
Rest assured, our well-placed operatives are working overtime to get their hands on these photos, so that we might share them with you ASAP.