Pool Party Updates

Jose shares his thoughts on A-Rod and Madonna — who are rumored to have met at Jose’s party (via ThreeStrikesandOut)

10am Comments (View)

Due to a time when digital cameras weren’t ubiquitous, there is no evidence of this, but from multiple first-hand accounts we can begin to piece together the reputed his/her t-shirts worn at the pool party by Candy Maldanado and his girlfriend Brittani… Brittani: I’m With Big Butt <====== Candy: I’m Hitting That ======>

Due to a time when digital cameras weren’t ubiquitous, there is no evidence of this, but from multiple first-hand accounts we can begin to piece together the reputed his/her t-shirts worn at the pool party by Candy Maldanado and his girlfriend Brittani…

Brittani:

I’m With Big Butt

<======

Candy:

I’m Hitting That

======>

1pm Comments (View)

Jose loved this animated gif so much, he put up a Geocities site for the pool party and put this on the homepage.

There it stayed for several years, before Jose finally let the Geocities account go in 2003.

Then it was lost to the world, until we excavated it and restored it to all its glory here.

Cheers, Jose.

10am Comments (View)

Jose kept pitching his idea for a sitcom based around swingers in the 1970&#8217;s to a TV executive friend-of-a-friend who dropped by the pool party. &#8220;It&#8217;ll be great,&#8221; Jose told him, &#8220;there will just be all these hot people doin&#8217; it all the time &#8212; but it&#8217;ll be authentic and true to the time period, not some cheesy softcore Skinemax job.&#8221; Unfortunately, the suit wasn&#8217;t having any of it. But flash forward a decade, and here&#8217;s a show that looks eeerily similar to Jose&#8217;s finding its way to the very same network that executive now works for. If Jose had any money for a lawyer, he would SO be hiring one right now.

Jose kept pitching his idea for a sitcom based around swingers in the 1970’s to a TV executive friend-of-a-friend who dropped by the pool party. “It’ll be great,” Jose told him, “there will just be all these hot people doin’ it all the time — but it’ll be authentic and true to the time period, not some cheesy softcore Skinemax job.” Unfortunately, the suit wasn’t having any of it.

But flash forward a decade, and here’s a show that looks eeerily similar to Jose’s finding its way to the very same network that executive now works for.

If Jose had any money for a lawyer, he would SO be hiring one right now.

Via Thought for Food

12pm Comments (View)

No one was quite sure what to think when Kelly Gruber showed up six sheets to the wind — dressed in a bomber jacket, Dokken t-shirt and pajama pants — with a bottle of Boysenberry Schnapps in one hand and a SONY Watchman blaring Airwolf in the other.

Fortunately, he came in, said something about “messin’ up his groin for good in that rundown”, devoured an entire platter of shrimp, then passed out in a chaise lounge — all in under 10 minutes.

10am Comments (View)

Some of Jose’s inner circle felt a little bad for what happened to Sid Bream at the party. But Jose assured them all he had it coming for “what he and Otis Nixon did to him that night at the Gold Club in Hotlanta.”

Some of Jose’s inner circle felt a little bad for what happened to Sid Bream at the party.

But Jose assured them all he had it coming for “what he and Otis Nixon did to him that night at the Gold Club in Hotlanta.”

Via Straight Cash Homey Dot Net

10am Comments (View)

When Jose told invitees that the party would have girls playing Wii Fit, most people responded “Jose, it’s 1998 — what the hell is a Wii Fit?”

Upon arrival, they quickly got acclimated to the new technology that had Canseco buzzing like Omar Vizquel after three Bartles & Jaymes.

7pm Comments (View)

By the time 5pm rolled around, Jose was so blasted out of his mind that he didn&#8217;t even see what was looming in his bathtub when he went to, in his words, &#8216;drop a deuce&#8217;.  Sadly, as a result he missed the opportunity of a lifetime for some one-on-one with one of Israel&#8217;s finest.

By the time 5pm rolled around, Jose was so blasted out of his mind that he didn’t even see what was looming in his bathtub when he went to, in his words, ‘drop a deuce’.  Sadly, as a result he missed the opportunity of a lifetime for some one-on-one with one of Israel’s finest.

Via sexyjack

8am Comments (View)

Since you asked &#8212; the Snorgtees girl was unable to make Jose&#8217;s pool party, too busy with an OshKosh B&#8217;gosh shoot to stop by for a paddle in the kiddie pool.

Since you asked — the Snorgtees girl was unable to make Jose’s pool party, too busy with an OshKosh B’gosh shoot to stop by for a paddle in the kiddie pool.

3pm Comments (View)

There were shirt-folding classes at the pool party.  Nothing, nothing at all was learned.

11pm Comments (View)

Vernon Maxwell was officiating the Marco Polo match, when things went horribly awry.  What started as a seemingly-harmless dispute over Ozzie opening his eyes turned into fisticuffs, and Mad Max was escorted off the premises by two of Jose&#8217;s tae kwon do buddies.

Vernon Maxwell was officiating the Marco Polo match, when things went horribly awry.  What started as a seemingly-harmless dispute over Ozzie opening his eyes turned into fisticuffs, and Mad Max was escorted off the premises by two of Jose’s tae kwon do buddies.

Via Straight Cash Homey Dot Net

12pm Comments (View)

When Jessica joked that the invite to the pool party should say &#8220;Pants Optional&#8221;, she may have been prescient beyond her years or cup size. (via vous pensez)

When Jessica joked that the invite to the pool party should say “Pants Optional”, she may have been prescient beyond her years or cup size.

(via vous pensez)

3pm Comments (View)

Whenever Roger had a few in him, he proceeded to read the riot act to anyone who said Nolan Ryan was the best pitcher ever from Texas. Most people kept their mouth shut…except for Sabo. 

Sabo meekly asked, “Well, have you seen Nolan’s horse Patches?  He’s pretty cool.” 

12pm Comments (View)

This site is in no way affiliated with Jose Canseco. We're just a fan of his pool parties, his taste in fashion, and his steroid-fueled mega-dingers.

 

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